Finish off your holiday season with a boisterous dose of holiday cheer and sneer…

Don’t miss Key City Public Theatre’s Santaland Diaries, starring Chris Hawley and directed by Denise Winter.

Adapted from Sedaris’ best-selling book Holidays on Ice and made famous after appearing on NPR’s Morning Edition, Santaland Diaries takes a side-splitting look at Sedaris’ stint as a Macy’s Department Store elf named Crumpet.

Called “delectably sour” by The Washington Post, this adults-only tell all will have audiences howling as Sedaris’ now-famous cynicism clashes with his elfin duties, which chiefly consist of donning a ridiculous costume and navigating throngs of sugar-rushed kids, rude customers, and boozy Santas.

Although its not your traditional stocking stuffer, Sedaris’ wicked blend of humiliation, hurt, and humor is the perfect way for Christmas-weary adults to blow off a little steam after a long holiday season!

Santaland Diaries runs December 26-27 and December 29-30, with shows at 2:30 and 7:00 pm on Saturday and Sunday and at 7:00 pm on Tuesday and Wednesday.  All tickets are $24 except for the 7:00 performance on Saturday, December 26, which is $57 and includes a post-show “57th Season Wrap Party for KCPT”, featuring a champagne dessert gala and music from Linda Dowdell and other guest musicians. Tickets are available at keycitypublictheatre.org or at the playhouse box office, 419 Washington Street, Port Townsend, 360-385-KCPT.

Photo by Steve Mullensky

Dare to Double Dog Dare. Join Ralphie on his desperate quest to ensure that the most perfect gift of all time ends up under his tree on Christmas morning.

Key City Public Theatre Presents “A Christmas Story”, Holiday Humor For The Whole Family.

Ralphie Parker is on a quest for the Christmas gift of his dreams: a Red Ryder 200-Shot Carbine Action Range Model Air Rifle. Before acquiring the near-mythical object, though, he first must convince everyone from his mother to a department store Santa that he won’t live up to their chorus of worries, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” This Christmas, you are invited to enjoy a new spin on a classic holiday tradition as Port Townsend’s Key City Public Theatre offers up a humor-filled rendition of everyone’s favorite holiday film, A Christmas Story. Written by Jean Shepherd and adapted for the stage by playwright Philip Grecian in 1990, A Christmas Story has been performed hundreds of times to the delight of audiences across the country.

Marcy Girt, recently seen in “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” directs this nostalgic look at growing up in small town Indiana in the late 1940’s. The play features Duncan Frost (Complete Works of Wm Shakespeare: Abridged) as the adult Ralph Parker, who narrates the story, and Hunter Heim as nine-year-old Ralphie. “To children, the world still seems big and mysterious,” said Duncan Frost. “As the details of events fade away, we remember them more fondly and imagine them to be grander than perhaps they were. I enjoy the opportunity to be the audience’s rose-colored glasses.” The cast of eleven children and five adults also includes KCPT veteran Mark Valentine as the “Old Man”, newcomer Hanna Lose-Frahn as Mother, Amy Dahlberg (Cinderella) as Miss Shields, and Trillium Burbank (TANSTAFFL) as Ralphie’s love interest Esther Jane.

Shepherd has a gift for spinning an epic tale from the mundane landscape of the American Midwest, where Christmas is an escape from the monotony of meatloaf and red cabbage for dinner. Ralphie’s dreams and schemes make for rich entertainment as he sends his parents subversive messages, writes a persuasive essay for his teacher, crafts a speech to convince Santa, and dives into a fantasy world where he rescues his family from bandits, all in the hope of finding his beloved Red Ryder 200-Shot Carbine Action Range Model Air Rifle under the tree on Christmas morning. Swirling through Ralphie’s world like the Indiana snow are Ralphie’s father, with his blind determination to win a “major award”, the schoolyard bully, Scut Farkus, a Christmas turkey that refuses to live up to expectations, and, of course, Ralphie’s friend Flick, who accepts the famous flagpole “triple dog dare.”

Behind all of the holiday shenanigans and humor of A Christmas Story, there lies a deeper, more universal tale. “I think people love this story because it’s about celebrating abundance, being together as a family, and creating magical experiences,” said Girt. “It’s a reminder that we have the power to create a special day for the people that we love.” So bring the whole family to the stage version of this quintessential Christmas tradition that will have everyone laughing their way into the holiday season!

A Christmas Story runs Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at Key City Public Theatre from December 3rd — 20th. Thursday thru Sunday evenings at 7:00 p.m.; Sunday matinees at 2:30 p.m with additional matinees at 4:00 p.m. on Saturday, December 12th and 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, December 19th. Tickets ($20 on Thursday/Sunday evenings and all matinees. $24 on Friday/Saturday evenings, $10 for students any performance) are available at keycitypublictheatre.org or at the playhouse box office, 419 Washington Street, Port Townsend, 360-385-KCPT. Check online schedule or inquire at box office about reduced price performances.

Victorian Holiday Home Tour
December 12, 2015
1-5 pm

Visit Port Townsend’s often photographed Victorian Homes as they dress themselves up for the holidays! Homes normally not open to the public are available for viewing during this special event.

Not only will you have the opportunity to sit and enjoy a Victorian reception in the elegant parlors of these vintage homes, but you will also be invited to imbibe in delectable refreshments while visiting with the homeowners and docents, and listening to music of the season.

Featured Homes:
The N. W. O’Rear Home c 1891-1906
The Ann Starrett Mansion c 1889

Tickets can be purchased locally or through PayPal at http://www.vsa-nw.org/sample-page/events

Open Parlor Tour
December 19, 2015

Tour beautifully decorated 19th Century buildings and homes with historically costumed docents, seasonal music, and holiday treats. Port Townsend’s world-famous B&B’s and historical hotels open their doors to welcome you on select Saturday afternoons only. Tickets $15/person. Reservations recommended. Tickets may be purchased at the Old Consulate Inn.

Yuletide Salon – Free Event
December 12, 2015
11-4pm

Take a break from shopping, scurrying, and worrying – step out of the weather and into a welcoming Victorian parlor to savor an Olde Time Christmas in the historical Cotton Building. Father Christmas greets you amidst the sounds and scents of the season. Goodies and music abound.

Stop in at a Victorian-style parlor to put in a good word with Father Christmas. Savor tasty treats as performers sing, play and recite all your holiday favorites. We look forward to welcoming you into a quieter world with playful elves and happy tots. Snatch a selfie with Old Saint Nick, sip cider, and savor the joys of the season.

Where: The Cotton Building 607 Water Street, Port Townsend, WA 98368 (directions)
What: Photos with Father Christmas, live music, mummers’ plays, seasonal treats and tomfoolery